Some People Say That the Best Way to Improve Public Health

Written by Lilie
Scored a 7 twice in the writing test
October 4, 2021
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
This essay question is from Cambridge IELTS 9 Test 3 Writing Task 2.
Sample Essay
In many countries, public health is declining. While adding more sports facilities might improve sports participation, I believe that this alone would not make much difference to people’s health and that it is also necessary to make fast food more expensive.
Some think that building more sports facilities can lead to an increase in sports participation. Many people do not exercise regularly because there is nowhere in their neighborhood where they can participate in activities they enjoy. If, for example, more basketball courts were built in a neighborhood, basketball lovers who live there would play the sport more often. However, I and others think this would have little impact on people’s health if they don’t change their unhealthy diet.
We think it is also important to increase the price of fast food. Many people over-consume it because it is cheap. For example, in the United States, a twenty-piece box of Chicken McNuggets costs only 5 dollars. If a 20 percent tax was implemented on fast food, many consumers probably wouldn’t order some at all, let alone overeat. Since over-consumption of fast food is a major culprit in causing obesity, a regulation like this could be extremely effective in terms of preventing health problems associated with being overweight, such as heart disease and diabetes.
In conclusion, even though increasing the number of sports facilities might encourage people to exercise more often, I think this alone does little to improve health. To achieve a better result, fast food should also be sold at a higher price. (255 Words)
Common Mistake
Don’t change “sports facilities” to “sports amenities”. They don’t mean exactly the same. For example, an aquatic center is a facility but not an amenity.
4 CommentsLeave A Comment
Thanks, you share this helpful writing pattern.
I would like some tips and trick you about paraphrasing the subject. I have already learned lots of things about paraphrasing and how to vary them, but I think it’s sufficient for that reason I assume, I need more new methods to improve my writing. so, especially paraphrasing is very crucial I thought. Could you help me provide all strategy?
Hi, I have a YouTube video about paraphrasing: https://youtu.be/eY4q_9ZTTIk
Hope it helps.
Can I change sports facilities to leisure centers?
No.