This essay question is from Cambridge IELTS 16 Test 2 Writing Task 1.
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
The diagram displays how sugar is manufactured from sugar cane.
Overall, it is a linear process consisting of four main stages: farming, crushing, separating and drying.
The first step is to grow sugar cane and it takes about 12 to 18 months for it to mature. After it has fully grown, it is harvested either manually or mechanically. The manual method involves farmers removing the leaves first and then chopping the canes, while the mechanized method uses machines to cut the canes directly.
The harvested canes are then crushed in a mill to extract the juice, which later on is purified using a limestone filter. Next, the purified juice is boiled in an evaporator to remove water, which concentrates it into a syrup. The syrup is then poured into a centrifuge where it is spun at high speed to separate the sugar crystals. Finally, the crystals are dried and cooled and the end product is sugar. (156 Words)
How to Write the Overview
Source: Cambridge IELTS 16 Page 133
“Overall, the process consists of seven steps of various time length, starting by farming sugar canes and ending by drying sugar ready to use. 👎👎👎
Here is the examiner’s comment:
There is an overview presented in the first paragraph which summarizes the process into the farming stages and the drying stages. This summary could be more detailed, e.g. farming, crushing, separating and drying stages.”
Both “juice” and “the juice” are correct but “the juice” sounds better. The idea is the juice that is in the canes.
✅The harvested canes are then crushed in a mill to extract juice.
✅The harvested canes are then crushed in a mill to extract the juice. 👍👍👍
Both “syrup” and “a syrup” are correct. However, “a syrup” is definitely a better match for this context. Normally we don’t talk about “a syrup”. But this is a production process with steps. One of those steps produces a substance that is a specific type of syrup. Imagine a different production process that produces two syrups, each one at a different stage. Those are two syrups. There might be a syrup produced at stage 3 and a different syrup produced at stage 6. You can’t just call all of it “syrup”. It’s more specific than that.
✅The purified juice is boiled in an evaporator to remove water, which concentrates it into syrup.
✅The purified juice is boiled in an evaporator to remove water, which concentrates it into a syrup. 👍👍👍