Online Sales for Retail Sectors in New Zealand

Lilie King

Lilie King

Scored a 7 on the Writing Test Twice

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand

online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand

Sample Essay

The pie charts display the online-shopping market shares of 4 different retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Overall, while the travel and clothing industries both experienced a decline in sales, film/music and books both showed an increase. In addition, the film/music industry overtook travel as the leader in online shopping in 2013.

The travel sector accounted for the greatest proportion of total sales on the Internet in 2003, at 36 percent; however, this number decreased significantly to 29 percent in 2013. Although the clothing sector had the second biggest market share in 2003 at 24 percent, its share fell dramatically to only 16 percent in 2013.

Just over a fifth of online sales in New Zealand were made in the film/music industry in 2003. However, this industry became the market leader in 2013, controlling a 33 percent share of the market. The book industry also saw its online sales figures grow, from 19 to 22 percent.

162 Words

How To Write the Overview

In my overview paragraph, not only did I summarize the general trends (the green), I also compared which sectors had the biggest market shares in the two years (the red). “The film/music industry overtook travel as the market leader” means travel was the leader in 2003, but film/music was the leader in 2013.

Overall, while the travel and clothing industries both experienced a decline in sales, film/music and books both showed an increase. In addition, the film/music industry overtook travel as the leader in online shopping in 2013.

How To Vary Your Language

“Market share represents the percentage of an industry, or a market’s total sales.”
The essay question is about sales. However, from the quote above, we can know sales and market share are the same thing. So, we can use “market share” to avoid repeating “sales” too many times.

Example     The travel sector had the biggest market share in 2003.
Example     The travel sector controlled a 36 percent share of the market in 2003.

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