The Graph Below Gives Information About the Percentage of the Population in Four Asian Countries
Written by Lilie
Scored a 7 twice in the writing test
Improved by Gregory
Born and raised in Canada
June 22, 2023
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
This essay question is from IELTS 18 Test 1 Writing Task 1.
Percentage of the population living in cities
Sample Essay
The line graph depicts the changing city population percentages in four Asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with projections for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, there has been a significant increase in the percentage of the population residing in cities in all four countries, and this increase is expected to continue into the future. Malaysia emerges as the frontrunner with the highest proportion of city residents compared to the others.
In 1970, around 30% of the populations of Malaysia and the Philippines lived in cities. By 2020, Malaysia had experienced substantial growth, reaching almost 80% city population, while the Philippines had fluctuated between 30% and 50%.
Thailand had nearly 20% of its population in cities in 1970, whereas Indonesia had about 15%. However, Indonesia’s city population had grown rapidly, surpassing 50% by 2020, while Thailand had reached roughly 30%.
Looking ahead, projections indicate further growth in city populations across all four countries. By 2040, it is predicted that Malaysia will have the largest percentage of city residents, nearing 85%, followed by Indonesia at around 65%. The figures for the Philippines and Thailand are predicted to be approximately 55% and 50%, respectively. (189 Words)
Common Mistake
Do not change “city population” to “urban population”. An urban population is the population living in urban areas, which include not only cities but also surrounding areas characterized by high population density and economic activity. It’s worth noting that an urban population can be greater than the population of a particular city if the urban area extends beyond the administrative boundaries of that city.
Tenses in Overview
Overall, there has been a significant increase in the percentage of the population residing in cities in all four countries, and this increase is expected to continue into the future. Malaysia emerges as the frontrunner with the highest proportion of city residents compared to the others.
“Has been” is the present perfect, and we use this tense to link past events to what is happening now – in this particular example it is clear that the increases are still happening now, so the present perfect is appropriate here.
The simple present “emerges” is about now. Something which is true in the present (a general fact that is true today) right now in 2023. Malaysia “emerges” as the frontrunner. This is a fact. It is apparent that Malaysia is the frontrunner.
An Advanced Way to Add Data
By 2020, Malaysia experienced substantial growth, reaching almost 80% city population.
Consider the sentence “this yogurt is 90% milk”. It means the milk makes up 90% of the total yogurt. The same applies to “80% city population”, which means the city population makes up 80% of the country’s total population.
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The line graph illustrates the trends of the population situated in cities in four Asian countries during eight years from 1970 to 2020 and forecasts the population change in 2030 and 2040. Overall, all countries’ populations increased throughout the years, with Malaysia having the highest number of people from 1970 to the predicted dates. Thailand, the Philippines, and Indonesia all steadily increased.
According to what is shown, Malaysia had the most significant number of people living in its cities, it rose with an increase of 45% between 1970 and 2020 ( 30% to 75%, respectively). Furthermore, it was anticipated to increase by 10%, reaching 85% in 2040. Thailand’s and Indonesia’s figures grew too; however, in 2000, both had equal amounts of people living in cities( 25%). In addition, Thailand saw a significant difference, where it was foreseen to double in population from its initial amount in 1970 to reach a percentage of 40.
In contrast to these countries, the Philippines fluctuated. It increased steadily until 1990 when it peaked at approximately 50%. Later, it saw a decline until 2010(45%), then rose again and was predicted to continue growing in 2040.
is it okay that in details paragraph 1, i taked about indonesia and thailand including their future predictions and in details paragraph 2 i did the same for malaysia and the philippines? and my full word count was 222. would that be a problem?
Writing 222 words probably means that you are writing in detail instead of reporting the mean features.
shouldn’t we use past simple in the overall rather than present and present perfect?
Can you provide a full sentence please?
The line chart compares the four Asian regions in terms of the populations that were living in cities during the period of 1970 to 2020. And it is anticipated that the number will increase between 2030 and 2040. Is it correct?
Hi could you please explain that why did you use past perfect in most of the sentences?
Hi, the past perfect is usually used with ‘BY 2020’, whereas the past simple is usually used with ‘IN 2020’.
Can I write “The given line graph illustrates the proportion of city dwellers in four Southeast Asian countries”?
I think you can.
why you didn’t mention 2040 is it fine ?
I intended to write 2040 but not sure why I wrote 2030 instead. Thank you for pointing that out! I’ve corrected it in the last paragraph.
Malaysia had experienced substantial growth? or Malaysia had experienced a substantial growth?
‘Growth’ is uncountable so ‘experienced substantial growth’ is correct.
Malaysia emerges as the frontrunner with the highest proportion of city residents compared to the others? Or Malaysia emerges as the frontrunner with the highest proportion of city residents? Why comparing with the highest?
What’s wrong with ‘compared to the others’?
don’t we use “higher” when comparing with others?
Of course we can use ‘highest’.
Hi Lilie！So happy to see your new work! You have been the greatest support for my study! In your essay, you wrote “Malaysis will have the largest percentage of city residents”. I wonder if it is OK to say ” By 2030, it is predicted that Malaysia [will have had] the largest …”?
Hi Silver, sorry for the late response. I’ve checked with native speakers and yes you can use ‘will have had’.
That’s great as usual.
The line graph reveals the percentage of cities population in four asian countries from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. There were and will be more people residing in cities in overall, while malaysia had the greatest proportion of people lived in cities since 1990s, significantly outnumbered those in philippines, thailand and indonesia.
There were about 30% of the total population in both philippines and malaysia resided in cities back in 1970, when there was less than 20% of the thais and indonesians lived in cities. Filipinos had the highest proportion of its population lived in cities in 1970, before it was surpassed by the malaysian in 1980. Fluctuated percentage of cities population in philippines started to decline in 1990 after it just passed the malaysia again. Percentage of cities population in indonesia meet that in thailand and philippines in 2000 and 2010 respectively, when philippines had recorded the downfall for 2 consecutive decades since 1990. About 40% of filipinos and indonesians lived in city in 2010, when philippines’s percentage of cities population started to rise again.
The greatest surge in percentage of malaysian and indonesian cities population were between 1990 to 2010. All four countries are predicted to have the rising percentage of cities population for 2030 and 2040, with at least 40% of their population living in cities eventually.