The Bar Chart Below Shows the Percentage of Australian

Lilie King
Written by Lilie

Scored a 7 twice in the writing test

May 9, 2021

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This essay question is from Cambridge IELTS 12 Test 5 Writing Task 1.

Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010

the bar chart below shows the percentage of australian

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Sample Essay

The bar chart displays the percentages of males and females in Australia in different age brackets who exercised regularly in 2010.

Overall, while women’s participation was highest in the 45-54 age bracket, that of men peaked among 15- to 24-year-olds. It is also noteworthy that a higher percentage of women than men exercised regularly throughout all age bands except the youngest.

47.7 percent of women in the lowest age bracket took regular exercise. Their participation then went up steadily with increasing age, reaching its peak in the 45-54 age group, at 53.3 percent. Above that, it started to drop, with only 47.1 percent of those in the highest age group exercising regularly.

Male participation was higher in the youngest age group, at 52.8 percent, than in any other. This was also the only group in which there was a higher percentage of males than females taking regular exercise. Men’s participation rate then fell to its lowest level among 35- to 44-year-olds, at 39.5 percent, before climbing to 46.7 percent among over-65s. This rate was very close to that of females in the same age bracket. (191 Words)

How to Vary Your Language

To Do Regular Physical Activity
  • To exercise regularly
  • To take regular exercise
  • Participation
Once you’ve established the context in your introduction paragraph, you can simply use “participation” in your overview and details paragraphs. Your readers would know you’re talking about participation in regular physical activity.

Example    Male participation was higher in the youngest age group than in any other.

15 To 24
  • The 15-24 age group/bracket
  • The youngest /lowest age group/bracket
  • 15- to 24-year-olds
  • Those aged 15 to 24
65 And Over
  • The oldest /highest age group/bracket
  • Over-65s
  • Those aged 65 and over

28 CommentsLeave A Comment

  1. can i change “that of men” to ‘men” in this sentence:
    while women’s participation was highest in the x age group, that of men (men’) peaked among x-year-olds.

  2. The bar chart shows the percentage about the Australian men and women in 6 different age group who did regular physical exercise in 2010.

    Overall, it can be seen that, in Australian woman are more active in almost every age group than the men. The only exception is the 15-24 age group.

    Looking at the Australian men in more details, it is evident that in age group 15-24 who did exercise regularly around 53%, this declined to about 40% in 35-40 age group, after that, this rate increased to 46.7% in 65 and over age group.

    Turning to the remaining female data set in more details, it is clear that,the age group 15-24 around 48% in Australian female who did physical exercise daily, then this percentage increased to 53% over in 45-54 age group, which is the highest figure of the chart, after that this figure gradually decreased to 47.1% in 65 and over older age group.

  3. Could you please give feedback on my writing given below?

    The chart illustrates the percentage of men and women in Australia divided into six age groups who did physical activity regularly in 2010.

    Overall, women from almost every age group were more physically active than men in 2010.

    It is apparent from the chart that the percentage of women who were 25 years old or above did more activity than the percentage of men in that age group. Among the adults between 25 to 34 years old, 48.9% of the adult women did daily workouts or other physically involved work, compared to 42.2% of the men. Around 53% of the regularly active women fell in the 35 to 44, 45 to 54, and 55 to 64 each age groups. However, the percentage reduced to 47.1% in the next group who were 65 or above.

    On the other hand, Men were more active than women who resided in the 15 to 24 age groups, as 52.8% of the men were consistently doing physical activity compared to 47.7% of the women. Although it dropped in the later years for men to 39.5% in the group 35 to 44, the number started to rise after the year 45 to reach 46.7% in the age group 65 or above.

  4. I would like to ask you about prepositions. In paragraph 4, there is a sentence ” Men’s participation rate……, at 39.5%”. From time to time, instead of ” at”, “with” is used. What’s the difference between at and with?
    Thank you❤️

    1. Hi, I think either “at” or “with” works if what follows is a number, like “with 39.5%” or “at 39.5%”. But if what follows is a clause or phrase, then only “with” works: “with 39.5% of men participating”, not “at 39.5% of men participating”. Hope it helps.

  5. The bar chart represents the percentage of Australian males and female in various age groups engaged in daily physical activity in 2010.
    Overall, Australian males were less physical active than Australian females across different age categories, with the exception of younger age group (15-24) when Australian males were more physically active than their female counterparts.
    The amount of physical activity was consistent among Australian females in different age groups which is opposite to Australian males who showed a decrease in physical activity with increasing age followed by a gradual increase in physical activity from age group 35-44 till 65 and over. The percentage of Australian females engaged in physical activity across age groups 15 to 24, 25 – 34 and 65 and over were nearly at the same level i.e., slightly below 50% whereas proportion of Australian females from age 34 to 64 were approximately at 53%. The proportion of physical activity among Australian males was slightly high than females in young age 15-24 about 53% followed by decrease to about 42% and 40% in age groups 24-34 and 35 to 44 respectively. The Australian males showed an increase physical activity of approximately 2% with increasing age groups.

  6. Dear Lilie King, can you give feedback to the example ı wrote below?
    The bar chart demonstrates the percentages of males and males doing regular physical activity in year 2010 which/that are classified according to their age groups.
    Overall, while the men’s participation in physical activity was in its peaks during the age group of 15 to 24 the women’s participation in physical activity solely reached its’ peak during 45 to 54 age group interval.Moreover, it should be also taken into account that percentage of females engaging in physical activity is almost always higher than males’ percentage except the interval of 15 to 24 age group.
    While the age interval women’s engaged in lowest physical activity was 15 to 24, the percentage of lowest physical activity during that age gap is 47.7.Moreover, we could say that after after reached its lowest point the percentage of women’s engaging in physical activity steadily increased until to the 45 to 54 age interval with 53.3 percentage value.However, after reaching its peak point at the age interval of 45 to 54 the rate of female exercisers decreased up until to the 47.1 percentage value by age 65 and over rank.
    Thank you i advance 🙂

    1. There are a lot of mistakes here u can check again. I was just looking for some examples and urs caught interest of mine. Its not that bad at all but there are some mistakes.

  7. Dear Lilie King,

    Could you please give me feedback on my essay? Actually, I do not know where I should start.

    Thank you for your support <3

  8. The following bar chart demonstrates the percentage of regular physical activity in 2010 for Australian men and women. The marginal difference between men and women at the age of 35 to 44 is the highest at around 15 percent. There was a very slight difference between men and women in the age group of 65 and over rated at 46.7 percent and 47.1 percent respectively.

    In the female group, the age group of 45 to 50 is the most active for doing physical workouts in comparison with other age groups. On the other hand, the age group of 65 and over is responded as the least active physically for doing exercises. Mostly, age groups of women are considered more enthusiastic about regular exercise in comparison to age groups of men except for the age group of 15 to 24. This age group was rated with the lowest percentage of men for physical workouts.

    In the male group, young men from 15 to 24 responded to the hunger of staying fit physically by doing the active workout. Other age groups of men vary from 42.2 percent to 46.7 percent. The only age group of 35 to 44 was the most inactive as rated at 39.5 percent.

    In my summary, Australian women are more energetic for doing regular physical activity in 2010 leading five groups out of six in the category in comparison to women based on the bar chart. Otherwise, Australian women are less active than men. Only, in the age group of 15 to 24 men are more active than women in 2010. Around 50 percent of Australian women consider regular work out on the other hand around 40 percent of Australian women pay attention to staying fit.

  9. The bar graph displays the percentages of males and females in Australia in six age groups, who performed physical activity in 2010.
    Overall, while women did more activities by percentage in most of the age groups as compared to men, there was not a significant difference between the two, and they both reached the same level of percentage as they grew older in age.
    There was a gain in percentage among women, who exercised over the first four age groups, making females doing activities reach 53.3 between the age range of 45 to 54, though that did not varied much from men doing activities except for the three age groups 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64, where it was: 39.5 for men versus 52.5 for women, 43.1 for men versus 53.3 for women, and 45.1 for men versus 53 for women. The only age group that experienced a notable growth in percentage of men doing activities was 15 to 24.
    However, men and women percentages doing activities showed fluctuation in the five age groups, they both almost reached the same percentage of roughly 46.7 for men and 47.1 for women at the age 64 and above.

  10. Hi Lilie, thanks for your great sample anwser. I would like to know if it makes sense if I write my summary paragraph as below, thank you!
    It is readily apparent that generally a higher percentage of women did physical activity than their male counterparts. In addition, citizens aged 15 to 24 were the most enthusiastic about workouts.

  11. Dear Lilie King,
    Hi, I hope this message finds you well.
    Your essays have always been helpful and informative. But, I have a problem with this essy. So, I made a comment below, which of course may be wrong. So, please kindly correct me if I am wrong.
    – The analysis you provided sounds wrong. This is because it was shown a trend that seems the number of men or women changed during the time. However, it occurs in the specific fixed time. Therefore, it needs to be compared between two genders at each age group.
    Best regards,

    1. Hi, I’m very sorry for the late reply. My site is being attacked by spambots. I have been busy solving the issue. Don’t worry. This essay reports data in the exact way you said. Does my use of “increasing age” confuse you? Here, “increasing age” means that if you arrange all the (groups of) males surveyed into age order, then the phenomenon you are measuring (the percentage of them who take regular exercise) decreases as the age category increases. I actually learned this from a native speaker. Here’s a quote from BBC. Perhaps, it can help you understand age group survey language.

      The survey of more than 300,000 adults across the UK found life satisfaction, happiness and feeling life was worthwhile all PEAKED in that age bracket, but DECLINED in the over-80s. Those aged 45 to 59 reported the lowest levels of life satisfaction, with men on average less satisfied than women.

  12. I would appreicate it if you explained why you use “the percentages of …”, while “the percentage of” seems true based on Lonman Disctionary.
    Sincerely,

    1. Sorry again for the late reply. Take for example this graph. When describing households in owned accommodation, you should use the singular and say “the percentage of households in owned accommodation increased”. Try to interpret “the percentage of households in owned accommodation” as a variable that can take different values in different time frames. There is only one number in each year.

      However, in the sentence below, there are two variables: households in owned accommodation and those in rented accommodation. There are two numbers in each year. Therefore, “percentageS” can be used.
      The bar graph displays the percentageS of households that owned and rented their accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.

  13. Dear Lilie,
    Thank you for your writing!
    It’s very useful to me,
    but I will appreciate if you tell me whether a vocabulaly source specialised is for writing task 1.
    Regards
    Elnaz

    1. Great question. “old” can also be a noun, meaning “a person or animal of a specified age or age group”. You can find this definition in any dictionary.

  14. hello thanks to your effort. i really appreciate for your writing. it is useful for progressing in ielts writing
    thanks

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