The Bar Chart Below Shows the Percentage of Australian

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

This essay question is from Cambridge IELTS 12 Test 5 Writing Task 1.

Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010

the bar chart below shows the percentage of australian

Sample Essay

The bar chart displays the percentages of males and females in Australia in different age brackets who exercised regularly in 2010.

Overall, while women’s participation was highest in the 45-54 age bracket, that of men peaked among 15- to 24-year-olds. In addition, a higher percentage of women than men exercised regularly in every age group except the youngest.

47.7 percent of women in the lowest age bracket took regular exercise. Their participation then went up steadily with increasing age, reaching its peak in the 45-54 age group, at 53.3 percent. Above that, it started to drop, with only 47.1 percent of those in the highest age group exercising regularly.

Male participation was higher in the lowest age group, at 52.8 percent, than in any other. This was also the only group in which there was a higher percentage of males than females taking regular exercise. Men’s participation rate then fell to its lowest level among 35- to 44-year-olds, at 39.5 percent, before climbing to 46.7 percent among the over-65s. This rate was very close to that of females in the same age bracket.

189 Words

How to Vary Your Language

to do regular physical activity
  • to exercise regularly
  • to take regular exercise
  • participation
Once you’ve established the context in your introduction paragraph, you can simply use “participation” in your overview and details paragraphs. Your readers would know you’re talking about participation in regular physical activity.

Example     Male participation was higher in the lowest age group than in any other.

15 to 24
  • the 15-24 age group/bracket
  • the youngest /lowest age group/bracket
  • 15- to 24-year-olds
  • those aged 15 to 24
65 and over
  • the oldest /highest age group/bracket
  • the over-65s
  • those aged 65 and over

12 CommentsLeave A Comment

  1. Dear Lilie King,
    Hi, I hope this message finds you well.
    Your essays have always been helpful and informative. But, I have a problem with this essy. So, I made a comment below, which of course may be wrong. So, please kindly correct me if I am wrong.
    – The analysis you provided sounds wrong. This is because it was shown a trend that seems the number of men or women changed during the time. However, it occurs in the specific fixed time. Therefore, it needs to be compared between two genders at each age group.
    Best regards,

    1. Hi, I’m very sorry for the late reply. My site is being attacked by spambots. I have been busy solving the issue. Don’t worry. This essay reports data in the exact way you said. Does my use of “increasing age” confuse you? Here, “increasing age” means that if you arrange all the (groups of) males surveyed into age order, then the phenomenon you are measuring (the percentage of them who take regular exercise) decreases as the age category increases. I actually learned this from a native speaker. Here’s a quote from BBC. Perhaps, it can help you understand age group survey language.

      The survey of more than 300,000 adults across the UK found life satisfaction, happiness and feeling life was worthwhile all PEAKED in that age bracket, but DECLINED in the over-80s. Those aged 45 to 59 reported the lowest levels of life satisfaction, with men on average less satisfied than women.

  2. I would appreicate it if you explained why you use “the percentages of …”, while “the percentage of” seems true based on Lonman Disctionary.
    Sincerely,

    1. Sorry again for the late reply. Take for example this graph. When describing households in owned accommodation, you should use the singular and say “the percentage of households in owned accommodation increased”. Try to interpret “the percentage of households in owned accommodation” as a variable that can take different values in different time frames. There is only one number in each year.

      However, in the sentence below, there are two variables: households in owned accommodation and those in rented accommodation. There are two numbers in each year. Therefore, “percentageS” can be used.
      The bar graph displays the percentageS of households that owned and rented their accommodation in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.

  3. Dear Lilie,
    Thank you for your writing!
    It’s very useful to me,
    but I will appreciate if you tell me whether a vocabulaly source specialised is for writing task 1.
    Regards
    Elnaz

    1. Great question. “old” can also be a noun, meaning “a person or animal of a specified age or age group”. You can find this definition in any dictionary.

  4. hello thanks to your effort. i really appreciate for your writing. it is useful for progressing in ielts writing
    thanks

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