The Charts Below Show the Proportion of British Students

Lilie King

Lilie King

Scored a 7 on the Writing Test Twice

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

This essay question is from Cambridge IELTS 11 Test 2 Writing Task 1.

the charts below show the proportions of british students

Sample Essay

The pie charts display the percentages of British students from one English university who were able to speak languages other than English in 2000 and 2010.

Overall, the proportion of students who were able to speak other languages went up in 2010, with Spanish being the most commonly spoken one in both years.

Those who only spoke Spanish accounted for the greatest proportions of students in both 2000 and 2010, at 30 and 35 percent respectively. With an increase to 20 and 15 percent, those who spoke another language and those who spoke two other languages became the second and third largest groups in 2010. The proportion of those who spoke no other languages, in comparison, dropped by half to only 10 percent.

Of those who were able to speak other languages, French-only speakers were the only group whose proportion experienced a decline from 15 to 10 percent, while the proportion of German-only speakers stayed at 10 percent.

158 Words

Common Mistakes

Please don’t use “a foreign language” or “a second language” to paraphrase “another language”, because an increasing number of British school pupils have a first language which isn’t English and this will eventually work its way through to college and university student level. You can’t call someone’s first language a second or foreign language. So, don’t worry about repeating “another language”.

How to Write the Overview Paragraph

It would be too detailed if you say which categories increased, which ones decreased, and which ones remained unchanged. In this paragraph, we are better to look at the bigger picture: see all the yellow slices as a whole. Then, you will find that as a whole, it increased.

the charts below show the proportions of british students at one university

Here, I’m treating all the yellow slices as a whole, as the only alternative to “students who were not able to speak another language”. That’s why I used the singular form “proportion” instead of the plural form “proportions”.

Overall, the proportion of students who were able to speak other languages went up in 2010, with Spanish being the most commonly spoken one in both years.

Another reason for not saying “proportions” is that not all proportions increased. For example, “French-only” decreased.
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9 Responses

  1. The given pie charts represent the information about the languages that british students from one university were able to speak more languages other than english from 2000 to 2010.As we can see that,The most popular language was spanish spoken by british pupils in both years.30% students in 2000 and 35% in 2010 respectively.Where as,Two other languages and German language were the least spoken by students in 2000.They were only 10% undergraduates.Moreover,20% of students of one university did not knew no other language accept english in 2000.Pupils who only spoken english were decreased by 10% in 2010.

    After spanish language,Another language was the second popular language spoken by students at one university in 2010. 20% bristish students were spoken this language.Ratio of french and German language were equal.only 10% students knew these languages in 2010.In addition to this,The other two languages were more spoken by students as compared to German and French language.Their ratio were 15% who spoken this language.To conclude,Spanish was the eminent language as compare to other languages in both years and German language was the least in given period of time.

  2. you have used the word “proportion” many times, probably six times, therefore, i will give you a band 6 for this writing. Instead of proportion, you can use words namely, amount, volume, number, percentage, allotment

    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and mark my essay. Unfortunately, the alternatives you suggested don’t work here except “percentage”. If the total number of students was 25K in 2000 and 15K in 2010, the number of students who were able to speak Spanish actually decreased. An increase in percentage doesn’t equal an increase in number, amount or volume.

  3. Hello Lillie, I read your “Common Mistakes” section after I posted my essay :’) Looks like I got it all wrong :’) Anyway, thank you for your help.

    1. Sorry for the late reply. Please don’t try to avoid using the original wording at the expense of accuracy. I’ll just give you one example here.

      ✖Speakers of another language and more than two languages have also strenghten their popularity by 5% between those years.
      ✔The proportions of those who spoke another language and those who spoke two other languages both increased by 5% between the two years.

      “Popular” and “popularity” are not suitable for this essay.

      Also, pupils are children in primary and secondary schools.
      A “student” is someone attending a post-secondary educational establishment (a university or college).

  4. Pie charts display the percentages of British students who were able to speak languages other than English at a certain university in UK, in 2000 and 2010. The languages in question are French, German, Spanish and another language.
    Overall, most of the students were able to speak at least one other language besides English. Furthermore, ratio of monolingual students seem to decrease between given years.
    Spanish is the most popular second language both in 2000 and 2010 with at least 30% and 35 % respectively. Speakers of another language and more than two languages have also strenghten their popularity by 5% between those years.
    On the other hand, pupils interested in French as a second language decreased from 15% to 10% in 2000 and 2010 respectively, while German as a second language maintain the same ratio (10%) on both these surveys. Yet, students who were able to speak at least one other language has enhanced their proportion by 10%.

      1. Hello Lilie, I read your eassy . After I would written this eassy . So I sending my eassy with your email address. So I was judged my eassy which sentence wrong or right.

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