Some People Believe That Unpaid Community
Written by Lilie
Scored a 7 twice in the writing test
June 4, 2021
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This essay question is from Cambridge IELTS 9 Test 2 Writing Task 2.
Sample Essay
Some people argue that unpaid community service should be made mandatory in high schools. I completely agree with this point of view because doing this service helps children become more confident and also creates opportunities for them to discover goals in life.
Volunteering helps children build self-confidence. Some children are not good at academic subjects, and thus may feel inferior to their peers. Teaching singing or painting to younger children, for example, offers them chances to use their unique talents. When they see these children improving under their coaching, they would feel that they are also worthy individuals. Even those with the best academic abilities would become more self-assured because volunteering would give them a sense of pride in their other talents.
In addition, serving their communities helps children find aims in life. Many of them do not know why they have to go to school every day to learn subjects they do not even like. Volunteering, however, gives them opportunities to discover meaningful things that cannot be found in academic classes. For example, by helping a local nonprofit distribute food to the poor, some children may become very compassionate toward them and want to grow up to become people who can solve the world’s hunger problem. Once they have this goal in mind, they would even become passionate about the school subjects that can help them achieve it.
In conclusion, by taking part in unpaid community service, children can increase self-confidence and also find things they want to strive for. Thus, this service should be compulsory for them. (259 Words)
How To Paraphrase “Unpaid Community Service”
I kept the original wording in my paraphrase of the question statement. This is because, as you can see from the examples the question gives, unpaid community service includes a lot of things. It’s impossible to find a phrase that includes as many things as unpaid community service, and also make sure the service is done in children’s communities instead of foreign countries.
However, once the context is established, we can use the expressions below in our body paragraphs to vary our language:
13 CommentsLeave A Comment
Hi Lilie, I have read your writing, it is well-written with great ideas and your lexical resource is flexible. Don’t you mind if I may use your model essay as a reference for my IELTS study?
Hello, is it okay to use given examples of unpaid community work in my essay?
Yes, you can certainly do that.
got it, thank you
Do we not need to mention the articles in the bracket in the essay?
Hi, thanks for your question. You can but you don’t have to. Those examples are there to make it clear what they mean by “unpaid community service”.
Why didn’t you wrote the conclusion?
Yes, I did. The last paragraph is a conclusion.
if I agree then do I need to write also disagreed side?
No, it’s better not to discuss the disagree side if you choose to agree. Hope this helps.
very nice, well written. pls can i post mine so you can help me go through.
Hi Lillie! I notice that you didn’t justify the “compulsory” part of the given statement. I wonder if that is OK?
Hi Silver, in the introduction and conclusion, I said that it should be made compulsory because it brings certain benefits, and the two body paragraphs are about the benefits. I don’t think that we need to constantly mention “compulsory”. It’s implied: it should be made compulsory because it brings benefits. Do you mind posting your essay here? I’ll see how you deal with it.